A while back, I wrote some mental health awareness material for my workplace, but the key piece on suicide got censored, and the overall initiative silenced. I felt treated like some suicidal psycho bitch, hence the name of this blog. Before I go any further. Let me reassure you, as those who know me personally may have some concerns at this point. At least at the time of this writing, I am not suicidal, so do not be concerned. Or rather, please continue to be concerned for me in the usual ways :) but no more so for the existence of this blog.
That said, I have been there before, and by 'there' I mean suicidal in multiple ways, and by 'before' I mean multiple times in the past. 'There' can be painful, angry, sad, or it can be a barren wasteland, where never a ghost of emotion emerges. Those were the worst for me, but I am still here, so I must have been somewhat successful... at being unsuccessful in suicide that is.
Don't worry, I will not try to talk you out of doing, thinking, or feeling anything. But as long as you are a living captive, a kind of success can just be having a bearable moment. Even just one moment of bearability is a little better than the alternative. Each bearable moment is a boon, irrespective of the overall outcome. But as I did, you may find that as bearable moments become less elusive, some lustre to life overall may return.
I thus wanted to share some notions that gave me bearable moments, in the hope of helping someone else stumble across a moment of bearability or so. That someone could be you. Or someone you know. Or not. It might all sound like stupid fluff to you. Fwiw, I understand. I've read lots of other people's "stupid fluff" on the internet that didn't help me either. But that's why the internet is great. We can all find the bits of fluff that we like best to decorate our head nest. :) I hope some of my fluff helps someone.
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